Texas Climber

In a land of polish, one man stands up (on limestone slopers that feel like grit)

Ha!

I bet most of you don’t even know what millstone grit is. “God’s own rock” as they call it in the UK, for the dubious reason that it is the hardest, and roughest rock anyone has ever climbed on. Few features, but sandpaper covered slopers, and on magical cold autumn days, it’s suddenly becomes impossible to slip on it. It only exists in two places apparently, central england, and mongolia.

I didn’t think I’d discover anything like it again, but holy sheet was I wrong. Monster Rock, John Hogge’s private crag near Pace Bend is it. “Don’t be stupid, that’s limestone you dumb ass!”

Yes, Limestone. Can any of you say you have climbed a central texas limestone route that hasn’t had a thousand ascents already and is covered in mirror like polish? You can? OK shut it you obviously climb hard or have discovered a new area or helped develop one.

Anyway, back to the amazing 5.8s, 5.9s, 5.10s that have had so few ascents that they don’t have a single rubber mark on them. Crystals that cut tiny holes into the soft part of your fingers that usually never touch anyting but polished slopers. I won’t mention anything over 5.11 as I’m a fat trundler who smokes 20 a day, but I doubt they could be of any lesser quality. The 60+ foot high traverses on fixed gear…

If you’ve never heard of it, or have heard but never been, you have to check it out. It’s closer to central austin than Reimer’s, and being private, much less crowded. Thanks to it’s 5 foot wide, 40 foot canyon it’s also consierably cooler on hot days. Check out his website to find out how to get access.

Did I mention the porta potty on site has wet wipes? Wet wipes !!!! That’s the kind of place M Rock is.

Classy.